


Mutant Unda the Bed!

by anothercrazymom



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:11:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anothercrazymom/pseuds/anothercrazymom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The youngest Prince Vorbarra finds a mutant under his bed....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mutant Unda the Bed!

“Dere is a mutant unda my bed!” shrieked John, the youngest of the Vorbarra princes, as he turned and ran from his room and into the living room. 

“John, there are no mutants under your bed,” said his weary mother. It was bedtime and she was ready to go to bed herself. She was growing tired of the tricks the older boys played on this youngest and most sensitive child. It had started happily enough with candy shaped like vegetables and the main course shaped like dessert for a Spring Day dinner, but it had been three weeks and she was tired of the jokes now.

“Dere is a mutant unda my bed, Mama,” insisted the small boy hiding behind her skirt. “It had glowing eyes and it moved.”

This was new, she thought. Maybe someone had been telling him scary stories before bed again. That was not part of the routine.

“Mama, what’s going on? Why is John squealing?” asked Xav, the oldest of the boys. If anyone would know about this mutant, he would. He most likely put it there!

“John says there is a mutant with glowing eyes under his bed. Do you know anything about it?” she asked. By now the middle boys had appeared too, David and Simon looked equally confused.

“No, Mama,” volunteered David. “We stopped with the tricks. You said that if we didn’t we wouldn’t get to go to ice skating.”

“Or to the science museum,” added Simon.

“Or to Aral’s house for a week,” added Xav.

Laisa pondered a moment, at least she knew what each of her children cared about. Depriving them of their cherished outings would be unpleasant for everyone, but it seemed to have done the job. Now just to find out about the ‘mutant under the bed’.

“Okay, John. Let’s go see your mutant then,” she said and the group walked down the hall toward John’s room. Laisa wished that Gregor was nearby; she wasn’t particularly fond of dealing with any sort of crawling on the floor. Unfortunately, he was out tonight.

They walked into the room and turned on the light. Laisa noticed the half assembled castle and half a dozen books with more castles and horses on them scattered on the floor. The blankets from the bed had been dragged to form a nest under the window where the moon showed through. A soft, furry and very well loved horse lay to one side of the nest. Soft music played gently in the background; it was obviously bedtime.

Laisa handed John his horse, Midnight, which he gratefully accepted; he hugged it tightly and stayed safely behind her and away from the bed.

“Is unda the bed, Mama. Even Midnight was scared.”

Laisa moved to pick up the blankets and redeposit them on the bed, a task made more difficult with the three year old holding on to her skirts. “There are no mutants, John. And certainly none under your bed,” she said, stalling, as she really didn’t want to climb around on the floor.

The older boys had no such issues, though, and as soon as it appeared that no mutants were going to jump out at them, they filed in and looked around.

Five year old Simon stayed near the door. He wasn’t afraid. He was just making sure that there was a clear path out again. Seven year old David decided to check out the closet first. John hadn’t said anything about mutants in the closet, but it never hurt to check everything.

Xav, big and brave at nine whole years old, watched his brothers and then decided to approach the bed and the supposed mutant beneath it. There was no such things as mutants. There was no such things as mutants, he repeated to himself. He got on his hands and knees and carefully peeked under the bed. Nothing at this end. His eyes adjusted to the darkness under the bed and he saw eyes. Glowing eyes. And then they blinked. “Mama, I think we need to get one of the Armsmen to come,” said Xav carefully trying not to sound scared and ruin his image. “There really is a mutant under the bed,” he said, and he ran for the door.

Simon, of course, beat him there since he had never moved beyond the door. And David followed moments later. Laisa was stunned. There were no mutants. 

“Mama, will you hold me?” asked John, who was now more scared than ever.

“Of course, sweetheart,” she said and she turned to pick him up. Laisa wished again that Gregor was home and he could deal with this. Finally she decided that she couldn’t very well look under the bed while holding John. She walked back to the doorway. This was a job for one of the several Armsmen that were always around. She tapped the broach that was her connection to all of the Residence staff and said, “Armsman?” 

“Milady?” was the immediate, if confused, reply. “How can I help you?”

“We seem to have a problem in John’s room. There is a mutant under the bed.”

“Of course, milady,” was the reply. “Shall I come and dispatch the mutant then?” he answered with a chuckle.

“Yes, please. Just be aware that this mutant is not a figment of imagination.”

“Of course, milady,” he said with all the seriousness due the situation. “A moment, for someone to arrive to watch the door.”

“That would be fine, Armsman,” said Laisa.

A few minutes later, Armsman Ivanovich entered the living area and, ushered by Xav, was escorted to John’s room. Simon, having seen that the new Armsman at the door was Aubert, the Armsman who usually watched him during the day, decided to hang out there. 

“John, Aubert is here,” called Simon to his younger brother. 

John wiggled free of his mother and scurried to where Aubert and Simon were talking by the door. “Is safer farther away, Mama. I no want to be eaten by a mutant.”

Me neither, thought Laisa and wished that she, too, could hang out by the door near someone able to defend her from all her fears. Unfortunately, her beloved was stuck in a meeting and not able to help. 

“Ivanovich, there is something under the bed,” said Laisa.

“And it has glowing eyes!” added Xav.

Laisa continued, “It is not an imaginary creature. There really is something there.”

“Of course, milady,” said Ivanovich with a wink and nod. 

Laisa watched from the door as Ivanovich walked casually into the room and looked around. Then he approached the bed and prepared to search underneath. He got on his hands and knees and looked carefully.

He stood up suddenly, “There really is something down there!” he exclaimed.

“With glowing eyes!” said Xav.

Laisa was ready to throttle him. Yes, there was something there. She had told him that. Twice. 

Ivanovich peeked under the bed again and withdrew his stunner. He turned on the light on the end and shined it under the bed in the direction of the mysterious mutant. With a speed that would put any animal to shame the mutant ran for the door. Startled and scared, Ivanovich fired his stunner. 

And hit the ‘mutant’ and his Empress who had been standing in the doorway watching it all. 

As she crumpled to the ground Laisa saw the mutant was a cat. It looked like one of the many progeny of Zap, the Vorkosigans’ cat. She wondered who had smuggled it into the Residence and how it had gotten into John’s room. And then she wondered no more.

****

“Stunner fire, in the living quarters,” said Armsman Aubert into his wristcom triggering an alert. He set John down and removed his stunner from its holster. He walked quickly across the living quarters and toward John’s room.

“It was a cat,” said the astonished Armsman Ivanovich looking at the small black creature that lay stunned on the floor. And then he looked up, “Expletive! I just stunned the Empress.”

Aubert walked cautiously closer to the source of the action. “What is the problem?” he asked.

“No problem,” Ivanovich said, “Just a crazy cat.”

Aubert took in the situation and reported back, “Cancel the alert. Mutant has been neutralized. But I am going to need medical, milady got hit with a stunner blast.” He looked at Ivanovich still on the floor from where he had been looking under the bed. “And you are going to get to explain this one. I am so glad it wasn’t me.”

Ivanovich looked at the stunned cat and the stunned Empress and covered his face with his hands. How was he ever going to live this one down? He wasn’t. Ever.

****

Two hours later Laisa began to feel a tingling in her legs and become more aware of her surroundings. She was no longer in her living quarters. This was the Residence Infirmary. And she had been hit with a stunner. Ugh. That was not something she would care to repeat.

“How are you feeling, milady?” asked a disembodied voice, a very familiar voice.

She tried to answer, but her body did not want to cooperate.

“The effects of the stunner will wear off in another couple of hours. Doctor Collins gave you some synergine to help, but it still takes time.”

She nodded and was grateful that it seemed her body was responding at least a little bit.

“The boys are in bed. John has named the cat Mutant.”

Laisa smiled. 

“I thought you would like that.”

She opened her eyes and looked at the concerned, but amused form of her beloved, the Emperor of Barrayar.

“You know, if you wanted me to end the meeting early, there are easier and safer ways to do that.”

Carefully she mumbled a reply, “Next time you get to deal with the mutant under the bed.”

Gregor smiled, “Of course. Now sleep. It will all be better in the morning.”

Laisa smiled and drifted back to sleep. Secure in the knowledge that there were no mutants under this bed.


End file.
